The War at Home

I'm sure that alot of you who know me and my family had to be wondering in your heart of hearts what the heck I was thinking by going off to Afghanistan - half way around the world. The initial visceral reaction is "to a war zone", to the outsider looking in. But in reality - it's the War at Home that seems to cause the most pain.

I sit here in Afghanistan, unable to offer my own "physical" help to those whom I love the most, and that is painful. But to my family at home, who struggle through every days trials and troubles, I personally think it is doubly painful. There is nothing a husband or daddy can do from where I am, other than offer my verbal, and heartfelt support, and my faith in prayer for the Lord's blessings on my family.

My wife has struggled bitterly with first the flu and now Pneumonia while I've been gone. I have alot of guilt over that, and I'm sure in addition to my own questioning of motives and thought processes, many would find my decision to be here doubly troubling knowing the condition of Karen and the boys. I love my wife, and I hate that she struggles alone in times like this.

Then there are the kids - a 15 year old teenage boy filled with the common teen angst, and a 4 year old who thinks daddy lives in the computer now. Word has it that he walks around the house making the "Skype" notification sound, and then carries on entire conversations - from both sides of the conversation with me. And Jake - the high schooler - lets just say that he and his mom are struggling to find a common language and means of supporting each other.

I haven't been here that long, and I'm hoping and praying that this is just the initial growing pains part of a deployment. Sickness has a way of bringing all the emotion, and struggle and pain that lies hidden just beneath the surface into full view.

To my lovely wife Karen - I miss you. I love you. I'm proud of everything you are doing! You are my "Hero at Home." Like the flight attendant on every flight says - "please secure your own mask before assisting those around you" - take care of yourself - and then you will be in a much better position to take care of our sons.

Jake - I love you too son, be kind to your brother. Please respect and respond to your Mother in a loving and kind way. Be true to yourself - and don't let others dictate who you are or how you should behave. Remember who you are, and from where you come. Your family comes first.

Jonah - I'll be home before you know it. I miss you. Give your mommy a kiss from me.

To everybody else who just got to play voyeur to our family for a few moments, don't for one instant take for granted those you love and those to whom you owe so much.

Signing off for now....